Straight from the Knee

an end

2008-10-21T09:39:00.002-04:00

I just thought I'd close the blog--the plateau has passed a little, but really there isn't much else to update on as I slowly improve.
Thanks to everyone and anyone that helped me through :)

Yeah :)

friday, feels like monday

2008-10-03T07:46:00.003-04:00

SO much to do. Homework and everything. I don't want to go anywhere or do anything ever. I'm just so tired.
Leg is doing well. I can't kneel for the resting pose in yoga :( Not there yet in my ROM. But oh well, getting there.
First day on the job wasn't bad. I didn't do much for most of the time again, save for call people to confirm appointments. But I will be on Wednesday--it'll just be me and someone named Hannah, and so I'll HAVE to step up and figure out the computers and whatnot. I'm nervous about that. But oh well. Gotta start sometime. I may call and ask if I can come in and a watch again for a little while. There's SO much to remember for the computers.
But what sucks is sitting on a stool for a 7 hour shift. Oh my goodness that hurts after a while. And I got super hungry--I'll have to bring some trail mix and whatnot with me. Ugh, I was starving! And then when I came home and had some eggs, I just felt worse because I ate too fast lol. Horrible. The shifts are kinda long, like next Saturday I have 8am -6 pm which sucks lol. I did that at Caribou a couple of times, but it doesn't go by fast at Banfield, and you're not moving around very much. Caribou, you're running all over the place.
9 bucks an hour isn't bad, and the 15% discount isn't bad, and getting a free wellness plan in 3 months isn't bad. But we'll have to see how this pans out. I have a small feeling that, unless things go really well next week, this might not be the job for me :(

School time!

oh!

2008-09-26T08:03:00.002-04:00

But I will say, it still does smart a little to go downstairs. If you try to cycle normally and go quickly, the bad leg doesn't really do it right. And going upstairs, if there are too many, it hurts a little. And hyperextending it SUCKS to high heaven. And sometimes it's stiff in the morning. And other times it feels fine.

And it makes me afraid to do things. Like learn how to snowboard one day, or run, or jump, or spin around, or whatever.

Eep.

jumping on a trampoline

2008-09-26T07:57:00.003-04:00

That could serve as a metaphor for the ups and downs of life. Or, it could be what I did in PT yesterday. Well, not a FULL trampoline, just a small square rebounder. And I bounced up and down on it. And I pushed myself off the Total Gym and landed on my left foot (you lay down on a sliding mat and it uses your own weight as workout). So yeah. Greg thinks maybe another 4 weeks and I might be done. We might try running next time :) :) I'm excited. But of course, it will still be not FULL running. Running speed, but I feel like I won't be landing right.

I haven't been writing here because nothing has been happening leg-related really. I mean... I could write about my life, but I'd get too caught up in it and I'd rather not. I did, however, receive The Complete Calvin and Hobbes from my parents for my 21st birthday (Oct. 5th). And I LOVE IT! I'm so excited about reading them, once I get some free time away from school reading lol. They're so pretty and BIG and they have ALLLLL the C+H comics. All of them. Yum.
Still haven't finished reading the Watchmen, which Chris borrowed in the middle of my reading it, and it's somewhere in his laptop back. Realllly good graphic novel, a collection of the 12 comics that were put out a while ago. Supposedly the greatest graphic novel of all time. Eh.

School time.

Stuff

2008-09-21T14:51:00.002-04:00

Leg stuff going well. Exercising going well. I still can't squat or kneel. The pressure on my knee feels bad, and then squatting, I just can't bend that far and have that much weight on my leg. I did LARP yesterday though (live action role playing). I didn't go as crazy as I wanted to and as I used to because of the leg. I only was in 2 little battles, and I wasn't running. I can jog though :)

SO, the big news is that I GOT A JOB!!!! I'm going to be a "Client Service Coordinator", aka front-desk-person lol, at the Banfield Pet Hospital inside the Cary Petsmart. It's 6 miles from where I live, so not far. $9/hr to start off, and 15% discount on Petsmart stuff!! AND after 3 months of P/T work, I can put Rikku on their Wellness Plan (preventative healthcare, covers exams and office visits and vaccines etc) for FREEEEEE. I'm excited. And they can cross-train, so if I wanted to learn how to help out the nurses and stuff, I could :) I'm nervous about it though because you know, new job new rules new things to learn. I observe tomorrow from 4-8 I think. Yay :)

That's the big news. Nothing else really. School is eating up my life! I ALWAYS have reading and homework and studying--2 exams this week and a quiz and a paper. Blech.
Onward, to do those things.

the paces are changing

2008-09-11T20:36:00.002-04:00

Leg stuff is slowing down, school stuff is speeding up.

I haven't been posting as frequently, and that will continue to be the norm. Things are improving bit by bit, or mostly staying the same. I feel that this blog will get to a point where the posts are few and far between and then it just ends. But I guess that's how recovery is. I wasn't expecting to get so far so fast and then plateau for so long. Eh.

School is getting more intensive. LOTS of reading for history--we don't have tests, just papers. And oh my gosh. And then Arabic is one unit at a time, but that's like 4 new letters per unit. Eep. Audio Production is also a lot of reading, but not nearly as much as history. Media Relations is now going to be a TON of research. And Media History, that's namely discussion and reading one article per class period :)

So. Things are going fairly well as we head into mid-September. I am still without a job, so we'll see how that goes. I hope everyone else is doing well!

ugh

2008-09-06T20:02:00.002-04:00

Sick as a dog.
My nose, my eyes, my throat, my head. UGH.

Other than that, Greg is putting me down to seeing him once a week instead of twice, he says I'm doing great. There's room for improvement (always), he'd give me a B on quad strength. But I'm doing well. Basically, before we move on to skipping or jumping or shock absorbing things with my left leg, I need to just work on continually strengthening the leg :)

I missed my doctor's appointment yesterday. I stayed in bed and felt sickly :( But so it goes. I also missed my first class, but bit the bullet and went to my Arabic class and my history discussion. This cold came out of NOWHERE. Ugh.
Anyway. Today was chicken noodle soup and tomato soup with grilled cheese, lunch and dinner respectively. As well as a whole lotta nothin'.
I did get the laundry done though. And I vacuumed before I got sick, so that's done.
But I need to study tomorrow and get homework done. SIGH. Oh the things to do.

Hmph.

2008-09-02T19:33:00.002-04:00

Well I'll be seeing Greg only once a week starting next week. He says I'm doing really well, and that I can do most everything on my own, so I'll be good.
He also did know that I went horseback riding, I told him, and he said that I would be fine but there's always the risk of that happening again (duh, same with getting in a car). Yes, I realize it was foolish, but it isn't an intensive sport. You sit on the horse. It walks. And when you're around 5 other horses on a trail ride (aka walking, some trotting), nothing fucked up is gonna happen. But yes, it was dumb.

I got my haircut today--it's adorable! I have bangs across the front, it's a chin-length bob that frames my face, and goes up a little in the back. Adorable. I'll have to take a picture :) It was 30 bucks (shampoo, cut and style), but that's everywhere lol.

I revised my exercise schedule. And I'm going to try and do it when I get back on T/H after class, and then in the afternoon M/W/F.
I have an interview with Liberty Mutual tomorrow afternoon at 4pm. Most likely, they want me to do calls for them and make money on commission. In which case, I'm not driving 20 minutes there and back to work there. But an interview can't hurt.

Onward to doing my Arabic homework.

on the horse again

2008-09-01T12:57:00.002-04:00

Sorry I haven't posted in a while. Nothing really exciting has been happening. But I did get back on a horse on Saturday. For Katrina's birthday, we went out to the barn she works at and did a 2 hour trail ride. We only cantered once, and trotted maybe 3 times, sadly. I was initially nervous, but then was fine and realized how much I missed it and really enjoy being in the saddle. I really enjoyed leasing out Porsche, even if it was really far away and even if she was really stubborn... it was really nice. I loved it.
But hey, I can still ride lol! Cedric said I was very brave to get back up. I think it was part brave, part stupid... but oh well. I'm not going to be afraid of horses and never get back up on one just because something bad happened. Although, if something bad happened again I'm sure my parents would kill me or I'd have to take out a loan lol.

Leg is doing all right. I need to do my exercises better. I don't know why, I just can't focus :/
I also need to go to the grocery store, do Unit 3 of Arabic, study for a map quiz, print out discussion questions, and clean the shower/bath.
I'm reading Watchmen right now, supposedly the greatest graphic novel of all time. I'm really really enjoying it. Hopefully I won't get started and addicted to comics or graphic novels, but I love the concepts of the frames and how it's written--we learned a little about that in the media writing class over the summer.
By the way, it's hard to type with a band-aid on. It's weird.
Okay, things to do!

walking all over

2008-08-25T15:50:00.003-04:00

...is what I do on campus lol. M/W/F I walk pretty far throughout the day. It's good exercise! Yay! What I should do is go to the gym as well, but I have to get home to the puppy and 9-3 is a long time to be at school. I'd do the gym T/H but I have PT then. Tomorrow it's 1:30, so maybe I'll get my haircut tomorrow.
Didn't get around to the chores. *sigh* I'll do those this week or this weekend. Chris and I just didn't feel like it. We saw Death Race last night with friends. I was expecting it to be horrible, but it wasn't bad. Although lately, I'm finding myself paying attention to more than the movie. Like the sound quality, different sound effects, camera angles, dialogue sequences, writing, lighting, storyline, etc. Like a MEDIA person. Teehee :)

It still doesn't work for me to go downhill. I have a limp. And I still have a fairly noticeable and sometimes audible limp regularly. Aah well. These things do take time, it'll be a month since surgery on Sunday! And then my 2 month anniversary on Thursday (anniversary of the accident that is lol). Yay.
All right. Tea time, exercises, homework, etc.
And tonight, I'm gonna try to cook hibachi :) Woo!
And damn do I love Arabic. Truly. I love the language, the script, the class, the professor. And I SOOOO wanna go to Cairo. But, an internship would be more... beneficial :)

Cheers!

sundays are nice

2008-08-24T12:37:00.002-04:00

Breakfast in bed! Well, I made it, but still lol. And watching Robin Williams HBO and then icing my leg. AND putting away laundry and the dishes in the dish washer. Blam. But I have yet to do homework, vacuuming, bathroom, or dusting. Sigh. And taking out the trash. ANNND getting a lamp cord, a calligraphy pen (for arabic) and an alarm clock :)

My leg is all right. I can go down stairs normally now, so long as I don't go too fast. My hamstring was stiff this morning, but oh well. I'm doing my exercises, but I can't seem to focus when I do them. Around the PT place, I just do it and BLAM an hour of exercises. But at home? No more than like 10 minutes if that lol... I can't focus. But I do what I'm supposed to, just not as much as I should. UGH. I need to do better. But I DO periodically do quad sets and bend my leg around. And while I'm cooking or waiting for water to boil or brushing my teeth or putting away clothes, I do hamstring curls and lunges and calf raises. So I'm trying.

That's really the hardest part. Just doing the exercises. UGH!
Okay, things to do.

Cheers all!

ahlan wa sahlan

2008-08-22T21:08:00.002-04:00

I love Arabic.
Seriously.

And Fridays. And baths. And tea time :)
Yay.

school starts, leg continues

2008-08-20T20:58:00.003-04:00

Not bad.
My leg is doing all right. Extension is a real problem. I can extend it to being straight, but--here, try this. Get down on the floor, or on the bed, wherever it's flat and your legs are out in front of you. Now tighten up your quad. See how your lower leg and foot raise up? Put your hand under your knee. Tighten up your quad, and see how it pushes down on the hand? Well, when I tighten the quad, there's no pushing, no raising. It's just tightening. Now, I still have swelling, so that could be it. After the accident, it took a while. But eh.

Walking around campus wasn't too bad. I got a blister on my right foot though lol, so I was walking really weird by the end of the day. Going downhill, even slightly, I still have to lead with my toe and not straighten. But that was the same with after the accident too.

I'm exercising. But not as much as I should :/ I do all of them, but just not as many I guess. We'll see what Greg says, I see him tomorrow at 11am. I think my flexion has improved. But I'm really worried about my extension.
I'm icing, but DEFINITELY not much. Maybe twice a day. Once usually. I need to work on that too. I'm just so bad and keeping up with things. But I've got a schedule set down. Once I get back from school, I have two hours to play with the dog and do exercises and have tea time (at 4pm, yes, awesome, I know). Then 5-7 is homework, icing, Arabic review. 7-9 is dinner, more homework, more exercises. 9-10 is relaxation before bed--be that meditating, doing nothing, blogging, taking a bath. So HOPEFULLY I'll keep to it. I also can exercise a little in the morning while in the shower and doing my hair.

UGH.
Okay. Oh, and I'm STOKED about Arabic. Seriously. It'll be hard, really hard, but I'm so excited. And realllly excited about my Digital Audio Production course. Yes!
Cheers!

leg junk

2008-08-16T09:34:00.004-04:00

Nothing really going on. PT went well on Thursday. Past two days have been spent at Laura's watching the dogs and the Olympics, as well as messing around on TWW (brentroad.com, lots of NCSU people).

It's still very hard and painful to bend backwards while standing up. I can lift the thigh and bend, but if I keep my thighs parallel, and try to lift my calf up, ouch. Those hamstring tendons OMFG. It's the ones--look at the hamstrings, and then see that at the knee, they've got 2 tendons on the outside, and on on the inside. THOSE KILL.

So yeah. Going down stairs has gotten easier. I can almost pretty much alternate now. Which is nice because one step at a time is so damn slow. It still hurts to extend my leg all the way, and it's really hard. I've GOT to work on it.
I'm gonna need some help to push me to exercise. I only did a little yesterday :(

And TODAY! I will go to Food Lion. Dangit!

chugging right along

2008-08-13T08:59:00.002-04:00

That's what the days are doing. It's already Wednesday, and school starts a week from today. I'll have class in 10 minutes if it was already next week. Ugh lol. Excited and NOT excited.

PT went well. 106 degrees of flexion, but I REALLLLY need to work on my extension. It hurts so bad. Grah.
Anyway. Taking the car in to get fixed and have new tires. Well, not fixed, but checked up. And then taking care of Laura/Mark dogs for 3 days. Woo. Nothing much is happening. Recovery is going exceptionally well. I mean, I walk with a limp DUH, and going down stairs is still one stair at a time, unless I do a hop thing. But otherwise, I'm pretty good.

v-dub in the house

2008-08-12T09:46:00.001-04:00

Yeah, so I can drive :) Heh, I bet I could've driven a few days ago too. So that's what, 1.5 weeks after surgery and I can drive a manual. Badass.

Also, the new brace is cool and makes me look less bionic. BUT it sucks to take off and put on, and it gets sweaty :(

Okay, PT time.

off comes the band-aids

2008-08-11T16:05:00.002-04:00

And the tape pieces from surgery. Jeremy said I could've taken them off earlier. Isbell uses dissolvable sutures, so I didn't have any stitches to protect. But it was for the best to keep them protected so they could heal. All the incisions are fine, there's one on the inside of the knee (like the right side, not INSIDE of it lol) that isn't healed all the way, and that bottom one has a bruise around it but otherwise it's all good.

I still have to ice it a couple times a day (like 4 times), and I still need to wear a brace. But I got my new one today! It's like one of those black braces with the donut hole in the knee spot, but it has a velcro section on the thigh, and another section on the calf. However, those straps are all on top of a black foamy material. That foamy material covers my leg save for the hole in the knee on the top and the back. It goes down like halfway on the calf and comes up a hand-span on the thigh. And then it has that brace support on the sides, but it's not lockable. So yay. I can walk around and start bending more than 105 degrees and do whatever. I mean, not running and skiing and basketball lol, but I can start really getting into therapy. I go tomorrow to see Greg at 10:15am--yay! I miss the Garner office :)

So it's nice having a new brace that's easier to deal with, don't have to do the locking stuff and it slips on and off. It's tight still (swelling) and sucks to pull on over the bottom incision/bruise area, but it's MUCH nicer. So all's well!

Right now, we're going to go help Ben get stuff out of his car and into his new house. I'll probably just carry clothes and whatnot, but I was carrying a 20 pound puppy here and there, so we'll see. And then the rest of the week is just exercises and relaxing before school. Eep..

thoughts and the leg at the beach

2008-08-10T22:01:00.004-04:00

Well, I'm not on the beach, but I'm a couple blocks away. Down in Wilmington with Laura, Mark and Chris. And all the dogs.

I've been doing my exercises... I need to go get that sheet that Micah wrote (he was the guy in Charlotte) because I feel like there are more that I need to do. I do the raises, I try walking, I shift my weight, I do calf raises... but I feel like there's more.. And I don't need to work on my flexion anymore at the moment--I have to wait for tomorrow's appointment with Jeremy. He's going to give us the scoop about what comes next, and then I see Greg again the next day.

Basically, things are going fairly well. I really don't have much pain unless my leg is bent for too long and then it's hard to get up and start walking around. I don't use my crutches at all, and I stopped using them on like... Sunday? Saturday too, like 4 days after my surgery (but that's probably because of PT beforehand too). Guys, seriously, work on the PT before surgery, and if your doctors DON'T prescribe it for you, ask and get it. That and having to deal with the helplessness the first time, I really learned how to do everything and push through the points where it feels like I need help. Like... sometimes it's hard to get out of the car or the bath tub. But it's not hard. And it's not painful. Really, the worst was the bone pain when I woke up, and then the fact that I got sick from too many meds and from having that horrrrrrrrible head cold.

Family and friends have been sending lots of good positive energy. And it helps to have people around that support you, help you out, and that push you to do exercises and do what you're supposed to. And it also helps to have people that are sarcastic, don't help you out or get things for you, and force you/push you to do things on your own. It's great. Thanks to everyone!
And those of you with ACL tears, in my experience the worst is: surgery (waking up, and getting the shots), the accident (the impact and pain, the immobility, the losing adrenaline and almost going into shock), and the helplessness (not being able to do almost anything and feeling like you'll never do anything again). But after this... dear GOD I've gained so much confidence in myself and strength inside. It makes me feel like "well I got through this, so whatever else comes I'll be a little better off."

Alright. We're gonna watch Phelps (we've been playing games and watching the Olympics all weekend--love it) and then take the dogs on the beach. Oh, and Shawn from the American gymnastics team? Amazing. Her and Nastia both... damn.

Cheers!

busy busy

2008-08-09T08:48:00.002-04:00

Past few days have included going back to Raleigh, unpacking everything, going to Olive Garden, my grandparents taking crazy good care of me and helping me move and getting me things, my Mom being worried and very caring, my sister and her friends being over, my puppy going nuts, Katrina and the cat Pear (Rikku and Pear aren't getting along yet---Pear hisses a lot lol) coming back, and other things. And today, Mark and Laura and Chris and all the dogs and I are going to the beach for the last summer outing.

And thank you Mrs. Maria for the email :)
And thank you again to my grandparents for EVERYTHING! Literally lol.
And thank you again to my uncle for calling about me so dang much.

My leg is doing just fine. I'm on it A LOT, I ice it here and there, and I did my exercises *sigh* only once yesterday. But the past two days were just too busy with moving. I'll be better. It's hard sleeping with the brace on because I wake up a lot, but it's not too bad.
Right now, my main problem is money. Those green bills and numbers in my account... not having a job has really taken its toll. I need to get one this Fall as soon as my leg can handle it. I've got enough in my account to buffer and sail me through a few months. But it's just getting low. The puppy has cost me a lot, that's for sure, and so have a few failed attempts to make money online *sigh*

Well. Shower time and packing time, I'll try and keep updating. So far so good. That bottom incision can kiss my ass, I'm sick of it hurting. And I'm sick of mucus and coughing, but that's life right? Everything all at once.

Cheers.

sigh

2008-08-05T20:53:00.002-04:00

And I love that everyone in Raleigh is drinking wine and watching movies.

*sigh*
Jealousy, boredom, and a continuous dull ache ensues.

chinese discussion

2008-08-05T20:21:00.002-04:00

Let's discuss:

So I can't get into the Chinese course because it's for NEW FRESHMAN ONLY. I wouldn't be able to start it then until next Fall. Sooo... maybe this is God's way of saying "sorry, Chinese just isn't for you." And I will agree that yes it would've been difficult, but it would've also been VERY cool to learn.

So, what we can discuss is this: instead of Chinese, let's evaluate my college degree. Communications Media, with an emphasis on production courses (audio, tv, film, etc). Then perhaps a minor in business for a good all-around education for the American economy and employable world. SO. What language would be a) useful, b) practical, c) interesting, d) exciting, e) smart, f) beneficial, g) all of the above, or h) generally cool to know?

Ready, discuss.
Oh, and that bottom incision hurts like a witch with a capital B. The end.

finding out the latest from me

2008-08-05T17:13:00.002-04:00

Because apparently, I'm just that damn important.

But seriously. My family has been vigilant in finding out if I'm okay or not, and many well wishes and prayers have been sent from my not family and my friends and other miscellaneous people. And thank you to everyone who has called, sent emails, letters, care packages, flowers, bears, cards, candies, foods, and anything else because it has made this journey easier.

Today hasn't been bad. I've been able to eat A LOT more today than the past few days combined. My stomach felt really unstable this morning until about noon, and the head/chest cold was really bogging me down. But I feel a lot better than I did. The cough is a dry one now, and it's hard to get rid of that scratchy feeling. But really, I just laze around, watch TV, eat food, and try my hardest to not feel like crap. I'm convinced that my stubbornness is half of what's getting me through lol.
Chris is dead tired in Raleigh. And I hope that Rikku doesn't forget me lol. I realllly want to get back to Raleigh and work on unpacking and the house and everything. But that's okay.

Annyway. I've been doing my exercises and they aren't too hard. My bottom incision hurts a lot when I exercise and and move and stuff. And it's annoying with those tape things and the band-aids and stuff. I can bend it fairly well, but it stresses the incision and the tape things and the band-aids. Grah.
And I can hobble around really easily. I just lock the brace, and hobble away. And then I unlock it when I'm lounging. I need to work on my extension more. And on my quad control. But my knee is SO swollen that it's really difficult. It reminds me of when the accident happened and I couldn't really control the quad that much. I might ask Greg (when I get back to Raleigh) to do the electrode thing and stimulate it that way to get it alive again. It's so hard to tighten it, but it's virtually impossible to tighten it during the straight leg raises. But, little by little. And I'm working on walking around without my brace with the crutches to practice how to walk again. I should be pretty good in 2 weeks though (that's when school starts too).

Well. Back to That 70's Show and finding MORE food to fill my tummy with. I lost some weight from all the puking and not eating ;) but now I need to make my stomach stronger.
Cheers!

charlotte therapy...

2008-08-04T19:01:00.002-04:00

...not so good. It wasn't painful, at all really except for a hamstring ligament on the outside of my leg feeling sore. But it just sucked.

Dear Garner Raleigh Orthopaedic Clinic Physical Therapy:
You guys are so much cooler. You rock.
Sorry I had to see someone else Greg. He wasn't worth it lol.
Love, Lisa

Seriously though, it wasn't all bad, it was just awkward. AND I had to redo tons of paperwork. But I did get some new exercises. Straight leg raises all around--on my left side, on my right side and on my back. Then having my knee off the table, face down, and lifting up. Then having my legs dangle off the table and pushing the left one back. And then walking around on crutches with no brace. And then extension exercises with the towel, and quad sets with the towel. So a few new things, but mostly the same. But the guy was awkward, not really sociable or relaxed... he felt like he was at work and like he didn't really want to hold a conversation. So, props to the Garner people. ALSO, I was in a separate room, so props AGAIN to the Garner people for making therapy relaxed, fun, easy, sociable, and approachable.

Basically, I can't wait to get back to Raleigh lol.

Food is working in my stomach better. I'm not feeling nauseous at all, so that's awesome. We're having breakfast for dinner :) Hopefully that will set well on my stomach. And I'm not really in any pain. It's just that damn bottom incision. It really realllllly is sore and tender and sucks with movement and the brace against it.
Otherwise, onward again to being bored and watching HGTV and Food Network ;)

thanks for calling!

2008-08-04T11:29:00.002-04:00

So this blog has been more useful than I thought. Jeremy called this morning because he read my previous post about how crappy my recovery was going. Rock on lol. Thanks Brian for emailing it to him.

Yeah, Saturday went better, but I was pretty weak. Except in the evening, you could tell I was slipping again. I went to bed but at 1:00am I was up and feeling like puking and death all over again. I was up from about 2:00am onward until 9:00am (and by that time I was just up anyway). I would get up, feel horrible, breathe forever, get the shakes, almost heave or heave and then try to lay down and within 15 minutes do it all over again. FOR HOURS. My poor Mom was up with me all night and that really made me feel even worse. It was just crap. And by the end it was the most violent heaving I've ever gone through in my life. I felt like I was dying. Literally. It was really scary.
I guess there were just tooooo many pills in my system and it all just built up and my body was like "get the hell out!" so yeah. Yesterday was hard because I had nothing in my stomach and we drove down to Charlotte. That's right, I'm in Charlotte *sigh* because there's no way that I could've been watched 24/7 up in Raleigh with the move and the cleaning and Katrina's car getting in the way and the puppy... So I'm in Charlotte, and my physical therapy appointments that would've been in Raleigh will be done down here for 2 sessions.

Yesterday was just liquid diet, and by the end of the night I was starving, but we didn't want to risk it. I woke up here and there during the night, but I made it through without heaving or anything. So this morning was a shower (thank GOD) and a tiny bagel that tasted like heaven, 2 slices of bread, some ginger ale and some cheerios. We don't want to rush it or overdo it, so I'm just kind of dealing with it. The only problem is the head cold. It's getting to the OMG MUCUS stage, and half my stomach contents feels like mucus. So I feel unstable, but not to the nauseous point. Ugh. The only thing is that I feel like I probably could've stayed in Raleigh lol. Oh well.
I'm here for a week probably, unless Chris can/has time to drive down and get me lol.

Wasn't expecting the surgery to be this messed up. Well, recovery I mean. But so it goes.
Just too many pills at one time.
However, I can hobble around without crutches. The bottom incision hurts the most, the one on my lower leg under the knee. I think that's where the screw is or something, but damn that one is SORE to the touch and SORE when I move and SORE when I lift lol. It's annoying. Otherwise, my leg is swollen, the knee is like a melon again (aww the good old days of June), and it's heavy and annoying to move.
I'll keep you all updated lol.

A note to those like me with ACL troubles: be careful on how much medication you take. Take enough so that you can keep ahead of the pain. Be sure to eat whenever you take some pills to keep things moving and settled. Don't overdo, and don't take too many different kinds of pills. And be ready for ANYTHING. Life is never easy and doesn't stop for anything. So I'm finding.

spending the night in hell

2008-08-02T14:00:00.002-04:00

Or at least hugging a puke box.
Last night was rough. Yesterday was fine, and I was doing really well and did great at PT and everything. And then later after dinner, Phil and Jess (two of Chris' friends) came to visit me. But then later I just started getting really really sick feeling. Not to mention that I've picked up this cold... congestion and stuffiness and coughing, gross! And since I was feeling so well, I had started to space out the pain pills a little more. Midnight was my last Darvoset before puking at 3:30, 4:30, 5:30, and 6:30. It was rough.
I started back on the pills at 9:45 this morning, and got nausea suppressant pills too. Everything went SOO much better than I had expected the first day and a half, it's weird that it started well and then went bad. I'm doing a lot better that I was earlier this morning though lol. I'm watching Scrubs and HGTV (LOVE LOVE LOVE that channel lol), and eating jello and graham crackers.

We'll see how things go :)

Post-op PT and news

2008-08-01T14:00:00.003-04:00

I slept fairly well last night. I was woken up every 2 hours to alternate taking the Darvoset and the Ibuprofen, but other than that I slept well. Physical therapy rocked this morning. I can do a lot more than I expected that I could.
Because of all the pre-op PT, my left leg is pretty strong. In fact my doctor, Dr. Isbell, said that I could fully extend my leg (or rather they could) on the operating table, which was rare for women (although I don't know why). And that it seemed really healthy and good for me. And, unlike when I first had the accident, I can do straight leg raises, heel slides up to 65 degrees, calf raises, weight shifting, and even put some weight/walk on my left leg. BUT I'm not going to because that will overdo :)

The polar care thing and my Darvoset rocks. I love it. The incision on the lower part of the knee, where they had to drill the hole in the tibia, that really hurts. I mean, on a 1-10 scale it's a 4, so that's not too bad, but it's a dull and annoying ache. And my stomach is being evil and feeling like puking, has been all day long so far. But other than that, I'm doing pretty well.

The other news? Address change. Everything has been moved to the new house, and that address is: . So if you wanted to send me letters or postcards or Christmas cards or whatever, that's the new address from August 08 to July 09.
I'm going to continue doing address changes :)

Post Surgery! and notes to those like me

2008-07-31T18:38:00.006-04:00

Surgery was this morning. Here's how it all went:

The night before, I had a really hard time sleeping. I wasn't nervous about surgery until yesterday, and then sleeping had a lot of awkward dreams and stuff. The morning wasn't too hard to get up, and I made my hair look pretty since it was the last day for 3 days that I can have a full shower (can't get the dressings wet). Got to the surgery center and signed a bunch of forms, and then quickly got into the back. Got my weight, blood pressure, a few more questions, then the hospital clothes. You get the booties, the gown, and the robe--and you look like a movie extra lol. So then they took me to get my leg wiped down and soaped to get clean, and then off to get the IV and stuff.

My anesthesia guy was awesome. His name was Michael, didn't catch his last name, but he was funny and relaxed. Another girl was doing the IV first. I got it in my hand, and it hurt (duh), but because my veins are small and somewhat hard to find (that's from my Dad's side), that didn't work. Reminiscent of 5th grade ear surgery when they had to redo the IV (sigh). So then Michael redid it, and it hurt worse the second time.. ugh lol. And then I got the leg block. But first, the medication had to go through the IV. It felt warm and weird and uncomfortable. But then you get all woozy-ish and such. I got the leg shot and it hurt, and then the last shot didn't hurt at all. After a bit, I dozed and then Chris and my parents came in. And on that stuff, time truly is relative. I would talk with them and then it would feel like I would black out and then continue the conversation an hour later when really, it was all happening at the same time. Weird lol. So then two ladies wheeled me to the operation room, but I didn't stay awake to get through the second door.

I woke up and starting moaning and crying.
On a scale of 1 to 10 for pain, with 10 being the worst, I was borderline 11. Part of it is because in order to do the surgery, they have to drill into two bones to put the graft and the screws in. So it was bone pain, and that's the worst pain of all. I was crying softly, and squirming and trying not to say expletives lol. Chris said that while he was standing there with me, they gave me about 5 different pain killer shots. But because I was in so much pain and concentrating on that pain, my body was in a somewhat panic state and combating the pain killers. Any more of them and I might have had something go wrong with my respiratory (that's from my Mom's side). So they gave me some Valium to calm down and that worked. I had Mr. Tobias "Toby" Penguin (my stuffed penguin who's the bigger stuffed animal size of the beanie baby penguin) there with me :) and calmed down. After a bit and lots of information I was just like "holy crap get me out of here". So they get me in the wheel chair and we go to the bathroom, and after being horizontal for so long, UGH. I felt like I had to puke. But I didn't--yay lol. Then got in the car, came back to the hotel, had to get half carried by my Dad and then Chris just carried me in the rest of the way and got on the bed. It took me a little while to pass out, and I've already had to use the bathroom SO much lol. Ugh.

But I get Darvoset (a narcotic pill) every 4 hours, an Ibuprofen in the middle of those four hours, and then one Bayer per day. And I have that cold care thing on; I had it on right as I woke up after the operation. But basically, I feel alright right now. That first pain after waking up was expected.. but yeesh, rough. And then now it's just cold, numb, and heavy. But I feel all right, and I'm MUCH MUCH stronger than I was when the accident happened because of all the PT. And after that accident, I've perfected getting on the toilet and manuvering and such, but I'm not walking on my own yet. Too early lol.

And eating isn't really an issue. I was realllly hungry afterward, but you have to be careful. My stomach is kind of weak, and I also don't do well with pills and no food. So I had 3 slices of bread and ginger ale and apple juice and I was fine.

So that's that. For those of you that are reading this and have torn your ACL, I'll be frank. The bone pain hurt. Badly. And the needles, well I'm not afraid of them, but they do hurt some. But other than the initial nervousness and worry and those pains, it's well worth it and the pains and worries don't last for long. I'm glad I went through with it. As far as the eating, you may want to take this situation and use it as a great lifestyle change in nutrition. Eat healthy to let your body do what it needs to do--keep away from junk food, excess sugars and stuff, and try to stay away from preservatives. Take some green tea, juices, ginger ale is good for sick stomachs as is bread and saltines, and then just be healthy. ALSO: talking with a patient in the PT, after his surgery he skipped doing his exercises just once, and he lost flexion. So do it. Every. Single. Day. Really lol.

I've got my first post-op PT tomorrow morning at 8:45 am with Greg, and he'll take the brace off and start working it a little. So that's cool, but otherwise, keeping that brace locked, that Polar Care thing on, the leg elevated and my pills coming, I'm good.

Right now, I'm just in bed, writing this post, and then I might read or work on my Internet Marketing eBook about dog training. Otherwise, relaxing and staying the HELL out of the way of the moving situation with the apartment. Blam.

Thank you everyone for all the calls, prayers, well-wishes, gifts, and love. I really do appreciate and feel so very lucky to have so many friends and family members that care for me!

Onward!

ugh. life.

2008-07-28T16:23:00.004-04:00

I'm so stressed out with everything. With moving out and moving in and the dog and the surgery and the car and the money and the everyone. There's just too much going on and too much that I have to remember to remind other people and to get done and tell people to do and all that.

I don't even have school yet or a job yet and I can still walk and yet I'm freaking out about everything right when I'm supposed to be calmed down.

Where the hell is my magic wand.

In other news, it'll all get done, and count down is 2 days.

updates

2008-07-25T20:02:00.002-04:00

Okay, so after the meeting with Jeremy, here's some random news as far as the surgery goes.
(Oh, and the cool guy Brian also knew about the blog lol--hey Brian, if you're reading this lol).

So I'm gonna get that cold therapy machine for after the surgery. I'm having the achilles tendon allograft (very popular and successful right now). There is the chance that the wounds could get infected, that I could get a blod clot--there's chances of DEATH lol. But that's the general disclaimer for anything. So surgery is gonna take a total of 4 hours, with only a little over an 1 on the operating table. I'm getting a numbing shot in my hip AND a sedation for the surgery, and I get pictures of the operation and the inside of my knee afterwards :) Yesss.

I'll be able to start walking as soon as I can, but with the brace locked. I'll have dressings that can't get wet for three days, but then can be removed and put on bandades or whatever and shower normally after those first three days. There's a post-op meeting on August 11 at 1:20pm with Jeremy to check how everything is going. Uh... I think that's everything new.

For folks that are ACL-torn and reading this, don't be nervous. I mean, I haven't gone through it yet, but surgery is very successful and great for down the road. There will be a good amount of pain, and the first day and first night will be the worst apparently. Then it's just going through the not walking and being helpless AGAIN :( But the ACL graft isn't as fragile as I've read about in some blogs--and wearing the brace locked for 2 days, it'll be okay. NO BENDING THE KNEE except in physical therapy. The most important thing is just getting it out straight all the way, and keeping it there. Also, you can't be in bed all day--stiffness and clotting can occur. BUT don't overdo it either and try and hobble around or crutch around all day either lol. It's all just a "let pain be your guide" and use common sense.

Now. Onward to cleaning and packing MORE stuff :)

oh the internet

2008-07-25T15:16:00.003-04:00

Hello all.
Short post at the moment, then a larger update later.
The people at Garner Raleigh Orthopaedic physical therapy found my ACL blog! Hehe. It's funny. So, if you all are reading this, hello!! Basically the point is to keep friends and family up to date, and to let others in my situation know everything that they'll go through.

Oh, and Dr. Isbell being "chill" means he's cool and relaxed, not cold-hearted lol. And Greg is cool too--I've done the exercises so much that I just kind of go around and do all of them myself now lol. It's funny. But I have to be there to do them because they have all equipment. I really love the Garner PT people too, it's fun and a relaxed atmosphere. BUT Ken is leaving (one of the other PTs). BYE KEN lol. He was hilarious. Also, one of the patients there today was talking about all the languages he knew/knows (German, French, Spanish, English, and written Mandarin). CRAZY!

Okay, so I've still got surgery on Thursday. Count down: 5 days!!
I'm gonna go find out everything about my surgery now :) Cheers!

NEWSFLASH!!

2008-07-19T18:45:00.003-04:00

Well, my meeting with Dr. Isbell went easily. He's such a chill doctor lol. If anyone in the RTP area, Raleigh especially, tears their ACL, request Dr. William Isbell at Raleigh Orthopaedic Clinic. Seriously.

The ligament grouping on the side of my leg is healing and tightening up. It's sore to the touch, but not a big issue. My ACL is still torn (heh, duh) and the swelling is down enough to schedule the surgery. My surgery is tentatively schedule for 9:00am on July 31st, a Thursday. Currently, the China-folk get in Saturday night, and the lease is extended to August 5th. So... timing is what it is and nothing is gonna change that. Oh well.
I'm going to have a follow up appointment to go over everything about the surgery; before, during, after, what not to do, what to do, time frames, etc. What I do know right now is that I'll have the machine that circulates cold water around the knee constantly. My knee will be locked out straight for about 2 weeks. I'll have physical therapy the day immediately following the surgery to prevent stiffness and start working with motion. I'll find out what exercises I can do on my own, and continue in the coming weeks to strengthen my quad.
I'm choosing to do an allograft (tendon graft taken from a cadaver--love that word), and the rest is technicalities and semantics that the doctors will handle. I'll show up at 7am, surgery will be at 9am, and then an hour and ten minutes later, I'm out of surgery, and I go home that day. Woo.

SO. What'll happen is that after a day or two, I'll slowly start trying to walk with my crutches, and then try to walk without them. After 2 weeks, my brace doesn't have to be locked, and after another 4 weeks I think, I get a new brace. A simple one that just slips over my knee, has the same mechanisms but no locking. Blam.
I'll have to get help with moving things, because I won't be able to pick up anything or do anything lol. This ACL reconstructive piece will have the strength of a wet towel for a couple months (SCARY) so I'll have to be careful. I should be able to go to school by the end of the month, and possibly even drive. So we'll see about all that.

So that's the lo-down. I get my folloup appointment scheduled this Monday or Tuesday and I'll update you all then. As of right now, I have 11 days until surgery. I have 2 more days of physical therapy, and one more appointment. As of right now, I'm counting down :)

11 days.

yes, i exist

2008-07-17T10:23:00.004-04:00

Sorry--I know my posts are few and far between, but there really isn't much happening. By Monday, I had 135 degrees of flexion, and my knees were about the same size yet still having fluid. I meet with Dr. Isbell tomorrow at 2:15pm, and the rents will be there. They're coming up for tomorrow and Saturday to hang out and chat about life and the leg and whatnot.

Rikku is currently at the vet getting her last round of puppy shots, her heartworm, and getting spayed. No, it's not too early--I asked. Although, with the peeing-when-excited thing, sometimes they don't grow out of it. So I'd have to have her take a pill like Maelstranna does about once a day to help tighten up that pee muscle lol. Oh well. I'd rather her pee and be excited than be afraid and aggressive with people lol. Besides, it might work out really well if it's someone that I don't like ;) they'll get pee on their shoes. BLAM!

So I'm researching about Internet Marketing. It's not a scam, and it works really well. It just takes time, a lot of learning, help, practice, and patience. But, theoretically, within a couple of months, I could be pulling in about 800/month, and then within a year, I could be pulling in about 2,000/month. Theoretically. It all depends upon how I do it, how much I do it, and how much I keep up with it. I want to try and make some money because of how much Rikku is costing me, because of my leg and whatnot... so we'll see how that goes.
You can write articles and get paid for it you know. Using hoplinks to places--say I write an article about potty training you puppy with a hoplink to an ebook that someone can buy. If they buy it, through my link, I get a commission from that sale. Blam. In fact, I already wrote an article. If you Google "potty train your puppy fast", I'll show up on the first page lol. It's an article called "how to potty train your puppy..." by "Lisa Larsson". A penname, using the Laurene's REAL last name. Word.

Anyway. I'm going to go run errands while the puppy is away. What a nice respite!
Cheers!

updatin'

2008-07-12T19:46:00.002-04:00

Nothing much going on with the leg. It's still busted lol.
Eh, nothing too much better from Tuesday/Wednesday. I'm still trying to work with it. I jog a little with Rikku now, but only in short bursts. Rikku is doing well--still pees when excited, still growls some. She did really well at Petsmart in the shopping cart though :) I guess I'd rather her pee near people than hate them!

Hanging out at Laura's :)

little by little

2008-07-08T10:06:00.003-04:00

Yesterday at the PT, Greg measured my flexion (how far I can bend my leg). Wednesday it was 110 degrees. Yesterday, it was 127 degrees. Improvements! My right leg can do 150 I think? So that's good. And I really felt my quad and my knee working. However, I did feel like a lot of the workout would move to my ankle. Since my knee is so unstable then my ankle tries to stable it it seems.

I'm watching Dead Poets Society. LOVE that movie. Classic.
Rikku had a puppy exPLOSion today--a random burst of hyperactive energy that I haven't seen her had since her bath at Laura's. It was amusing. But then she wanted me to be her playmate and tried to nip and bite, and well--that ended that lol. Regardless, it was amusing and fun.

Onward!

happy belated 4th

2008-07-06T20:28:00.002-04:00

Not that I did anything for the 4th lol. I watched my neighbors grill out and then be idiots running to and from another apartment in the CRAZY AWESOME thunderstorm. And I wactched other people try to get off some fireworks before the rain got too bad. Rikku and I watched the storm on the porch for a while.

So my leg is progressing. I can bend it much farther. I've been going around braceless ever since the PT really. It's nice not having it on so much. I've been trying to ice it more, but for some reason I just keep forgetting :( And I try to do my exercises at home. My PT apt tomorrow is at 3pm I believe. We'll see if I've improved since Wednesday. I've been watching movies, watching Rikku, relaxing, watching storms, surfing the net... I talked to Chris a few times, but they're off on a crazy tour for a week since yesterday, so I won't talk to him until this coming weekend. Oh, and Hancock (the new Will Smith movie) is okay.

Sorry I haven't been posting as much. But honestly, there really isn't much to say. I'm improving. It only hurts if I do something too fast, or my leg is bent sideways or extended to fast too hard. I had to dash out to put up my windows before the rain (well.. it was already raining lol), and that was a little much to hobble job/run lol. But it's okay.
OH, and thank you to Grandmamma and Grandaddy for the little carepackage of cherries and chewys lol. It was very sweet. I'm not a big fan of the cherries, but regardless ;) And I already had a Chewy bar--love those things! Thank you for all your thoughts and prayers. I'm all right, and I won't really need them until surgery.
We'll see how that swelling goes. My knee is still too big to be a normal knee lol, so we'll see.

Onward! Watching Twister (an old one!), Rikku, and hopefully another storm!

pre-op PT number one

2008-07-01T16:53:00.003-04:00

Well that was fun lol. Greg is really chill but very nice. The whole place is just one big room with random stuff and tables along the wall. It was really relaxed. I did a couple of the exercises I knew about, and a few new. Including being hooked up to this electric machine that zapped electricity into my left quad to stimulate it. I was really nervous before he turned it on, but it just felt like tingles. I need to ice for 15 minutes then rest for 2 hours. I have to create this "warm--cold--warm--cold" sort of thing, acting like a pump to get the fluid out of my knee. UGH.

I was there until 4:15, but they're usually 45 minute appointments. And I have another tomorrow morning, and then 2 next week, and 1 the next, and then 2 more after the 18th unless surgery can happen. I've got exercises to do at home twice a day to get my leg in shape. Rikku going to get used to being alone for 2 hours around 3pm or 10am.

Laura's bday is tomorrow--good thing my apt is at 10:15am tomorrow. Maybe we'll get to hang out or go somewhere to eat. I'M STARVING right now actually. With the puppy, I really don't eat as much :/ Bad Lisa.
But that's that. It was nothing special, nothing crazy, but it'll be good to be forced to do the exercises because I haven't been keeping up with them. Time to exercise during movies.
Okay, onward.

rubber chicken FTW!

2008-07-01T10:13:00.007-04:00

That's right, rubber chicken for the win. Rikku is in love. She needed some new toys, so I made a Petsmart run and splurged on some more treats, dental bones, brain toys, squeakies, and a rubber chicken. And my god. Rubber chicken is the winner so far. The "Kong" and the brain toy are treat-holders that are very difficult to get treats out of and really make the puppy wear itself out mentally. I'm going to use one of those while I'm at the PT today at 3pm. But yay!

I haven't heard from Chris since Friday. *sigh* I miss him.
Sometimes I forget that my knee is bad. Because I can drive, go up and down stairs, walk, and I don't exercise that much anyway (running, swiming, biking, jogging, etc). Sometimes I feel normal lol. BUT then I might accidentally step down farther than I think and jar it and make it hurt. Or when I get into a car and have to bend it weird. Or when I have to lift it up out of a position I've been in for a few hours. Or when I really want to crouch down to play with Rikku but can't. Otherwise though lol, it's not too bad.

My next appointment is July 18th, and by then, I'm hoping the fluid will be gone. It's still there. Not AS bad, but you can definitely tell. And my problem is that I haven't been doing my exercises :/ Heh. We'll see what Greg says today, PT apt #1!

Otherwise, breakfast time and rubber chicken squeaky time lol.

sunday

2008-06-29T19:14:00.002-04:00

Nothing special.
I walked around without my brace for about a day. It was interestingly easy and felt good on my mind. I looked moderately normal again too.
I can hobble-jog. I don't, but I can.
Puppy gets better but is still a nuisance. 80% frustration, 20% joy. So it goes.
First Pre-Op PT on Tuesday. We'll see how that goes. And tons of bills.

Aunt Roz sent me a carepackage with chocolate, a lavendar pouch, Burt's Bees and a cute animal book. It made my day. THANK YOU!!! It also softened the blow of the bills and the awkward-but-not-so-bad weekend with Mark's parents (Mark is my sister's boyfriend). Great food though lol. And more dogs to socialize Rikku to, so beneficial in a couple ways.

Onward. I'm hoping for T-Storm...

random update while i'm doing nothing

2008-06-25T17:52:00.003-04:00

Everyone leaves for China tomorrow morning. *sigh* Then I'll be at the apartment, just me and Rikku--who, by the way, was wonderful for the vet today. Yay! The vet lady used to work for Banfield Hospital within a Petsmart and then decided they were all about the money and started her own thing. I think she at least needs someone to answer the phone lol. But she is great--I may end up staying with her.
Anyway lol, it'll be just me and Rikku. Chris packed a lot of his stuff today, and whenever Rikku falls asleep, I get a chance to clean up and get a few things done. She's 11.5 pounds, so she's not big, but she's a puppy. Her only vices are wanting to chew (duh), peeing in the house (she's not fully potty-trained), and growling sometimes (but she's getting better). We may go to puppy classes. But I need to get a few more boxes, and I really just want to clean the crap out of EVERYTHING. But I'm waiting because we may as well just wait until the apartment is empty of stuff before we scrub it down.

Shawn and Trace are here (two more China-goers). They're talking about roleplaying. I would've been learning about how to do that, except my leg took that away too. They're starting a campaign on the plane on the way there lol.
There's once again really nothing new about my leg. I'm going to try to not talk about my puppy and everything else in here, for the sake of other readers. BUT considering it's friends and family, you all probably want to hear about my life lol. Which, by the way, isn't that bad. I can walk sort of well, go up and down stairs... and I can do this hop/skip thing to go faster, but I don't do it often lol. And I can drive, and that's important. So it's not all bad. And I've got a puppy for company, joy, motivation, and distraction. So it's not all bad. I just want that fluid to go down.

Onward, as I search for houses and eat dinner!

nothing too new

2008-06-24T12:38:00.002-04:00

Rikku is doing alright. She's got a little dominance issues sometimes, but she's only a puppy. She doesn't really like being held or getting tons of affection. Probably because she wasn't used to it with the foster mom having tons of fosters. Eh.
We're not getting the house we wanted--Frank decided to make it his retirement home. So we're on the lookout again. There's about 5 places we've contacted so we'll see about all that.
I started taking two stairs at a time on the way up, and I'm working on taking stairs normally on the way down. I did some yoga exercises and some lunges too. The swelling really doesn't seem that much better. And the muscle is so much smaller. My right quad is CRAZY. I hate this waiting thing where I can't get anything done until the swelling is down. UGH!

Right now, Chris and I are gonna watch 10,000 BC and American Gangsta. Oh, and Get Smart in theaters was funny. Okay. OH and Equilibrium is good too. Man. Tons of movies while having puppy. Reading probably too lol.

potty breaks

2008-06-22T08:58:00.002-04:00

So after 2 potty breaks last night, I realized that I'm going to get a lot of practice with stairs lol. I have the worst time going down because when you walk down, your leg first is extended, and then quickly bends and then lifts. Well, my leg doesn't do any of that. When I walk, it's bent a little, and I can barely fully extend it when I walk. I try to practice it, but it hurts and it's hard with all the swelling, my knee just won't do it. And then bending it that fast. UGH. No way. So maybe this will give me practice. I'm getting better at going up though. And about getting up off the floor and down on the floor to be on puppy-level lol.

puppy and stuff

2008-06-21T20:27:00.002-04:00

So I got a puppy today :) Her name is Rikku (ree-koo), and she's a shepherd mix. We think there's either some akita or maybe chow in her because she has black spots on her tongue. She's a sweetie! Shy at first, very pretty, and cuddly. Right now, Chris is the alpha in our little pack because he's more confident and he's a guy lol. But Rikku and I will have a month of just us to bond better. We also took her over to Laura's to meet them and the dogs. It went really well. She did pee on the welcome mat at Laura's. Apparently, it'd been peed on before, so it smelled like a place to go. But other than that, she's been pretty good. Exciting! I'll get pictures up soon.

There's really nothing new on my leg. And I doubt there will be until July 1st with my PT appointment. Right now, it's just time, ice, and compression to get the swelling down, and I'm still hobbling and wobbling. The pain from walking moves around, but it's not too bad.

School is done except for one exam in 240 on Tuesday.
We haven't heard back from Frank about the house, and we're keeping our eyes out just in case we don't get it.

That's about it. Hope everyone else is doing well!

wishing

2008-06-19T11:33:00.002-04:00

I wish I could walk properly lol.
It's frustrating to have the limp and a stiff and swollen knee that shuts down your quad. SIGH.

Thanks to Aunt Roz/Uncle Russ for the cool popup flowers card. Really made my day :)

a little rough

2008-06-18T09:31:00.002-04:00

So walking has been a little rough lately. I can't walk fully on my left foot, only on the toes really. So my left calf has been getting far too much work and it hurts like nothing else when I walk. I started trying to walk with my heel, but my knee starts to buckle and hurts every now and then.

I grabbed a door post and started leaning forwards and back to try and feel where the pressure should be. Because of all of the swelling in my knee, I can't really use my quad that much, but that's what I neeeeed to use.
After working with the post and the leaning, I was able to feel pressure around my knee while walking without the pain in my calf. So that was good. But now I'm just sitting down :)

And I can't wait for Saturday 11-2 at the Garner Petsmart. That's when I get to meet Emily the shepherd mix puppy!

an update

2008-06-17T15:19:00.006-04:00

I set up my PT appointment. It's July 1st at 3pm with a guy named Greg at the Garner office. If we get that house (which we should), it will be a lot closer than the Glenwood office. So that's all well and good.
And we went to the WCAS today... and Dally is getting adopted :( I was dreaming about her all night long lol. But it's good that she's getting a home. I'm going on Saturday to see a puppy named Emily, a german shepherd mix girl about 10 weeks old. I'm excited.

And school is SO close to being over!

doctor information

2008-06-16T18:10:00.005-04:00

So here's the deal.
1) My doctor is awesome lol. He's so funny. He came in and basically said, "Well it's a no-shit-sherlock deal that you tore your ACL, so there's that." Heh. He said that I did as much damage possible without actually destroying my knee or breaking any bones lol.
2) Only my ACL is torn. There is some damage to a few ligaments/tendons that connect to my calf, but those will heal on their own. I will have to have surgery without a doubt, but there's no rush.
3) I can't have surgery until the swelling in my leg goes down. So it'll be at least a month before surgery, and in the mean time I have to get and go to physical therapy for prehabilitation.
4) And that's basically it. All of it.

Nothing I wasn't expecting. A little annoyed at the swelling bit, but I suppose it's for the best. Chris will most likely be going to China now, and I'll be able to hobble-walk for another month. Cool beans.

hmmmm

2008-06-16T07:19:00.002-04:00

Nothing too exciting.
I went back to WCAS yesterday and played with Cookie again--but she's so fiesty and aggressive. There's a Russian Blue kitten I want to look at. But then some lady asked if I was going to look at the dogs, and I told her I wasn't because I shouldn't get a bigger dog and I want a German Shepherd/Husky kind of dog. She said there was a smaller GSD and showed me him, and then I ended up wandering around the dogs and found Dally. Now, I'd change the name, but Dally is a German Shepherd/Husky mix. One blue eye, one brown eye, gorgeous fur, but: no tail. They don't know what happened to her tail, they got her in on the 8th. I went in the cage with her and she was so unbelievably sweet. She leaned up against me, she laid in my lap, a regular cuddlebug really. And then I got to go with her when she went on a walk with a volunteer, and she walked really well on the leash. I'm going back tomorrow with Chris and Laura to see her. Even without a tail (which would be one reason others wouldn't adopt her... and yeah, that sucks), she's so sweet. And she's two years old already, so she's not going to get any bigger--and she's about Mel's size, which isn't bad. Anyway. That was the exciting part.

Today is school. I need to fix my hair. And do lots of homework for the week. I have my follow-up appointment today at 2:15. And I want to back up my external hard drive again.

And, I'm considering moving my blog to another service because I'm not feeling this one. I'll keep you updated.

pets and pics

2008-06-15T08:45:00.007-04:00

I forgot to say that yesterday, Chris and I went to the Wake County Animal Shelter (WCAS) and the SPCA of Wake County. Yay animals. I'm looking at kittens because I can't get the kind of dog I want yet (german shepherd/mix). The house we're getting doesn't have a fenced backyard or enough room for a dog to run. So I'll have to wait. And in the mean time I want to get a kitten :)

So I'm going to go back today to WCAS to see Cookie, and hopefully to 2PawsUp (if they ever email me back) to look at 2 other kittens and a puppy.

And in the mean time, I'm going to post some awesome pictures of my leg lol.

So this is the brace that I've got now. The lockable one that I got Monday. It's great for excercises (straight leg raises namely) and real easy to take off and put on.These are my bruises that started showing up this Thursday. Awesome :) They're all purple and yellow.And this is my favorite bruise. It looks like an epic scar--kinda like Sally's stitch from Nightmare Before Christmas too.

boredom

2008-06-14T19:31:00.003-04:00

I wanna go do something.
And I really want Cookie :)

I'm making rice and watching "A Knight's Tale".
Chris and Cedric are at a wedding. I feel left out.
And the thunderstorm SUCKED.
Maybe I'll go drive somewhere lol..

humph.

2008-06-14T11:33:00.002-04:00

Yesterday was alright. But I did too much. We movie hopped at Crossroads (best place ever to do that) to see both Kung-Fu Panda and Hulk. I loved the first and the second was great too. Then there was Laura's party. And before I went I felt like shit.
My stomach has this on and off feel-like-puking feeling thing going on since the accident. I haven't puked yet, and I do NOT plan on it. But the at Laura's, oh my goodness. So Chris gave me some bread and I watched the US Open with Ben. But then everyone wanted to play drinking games. Sadly, all I could do was watch :( And by the second game, I wasn't feeling good anymore and I wanted to just go. It made me so angry.. so I decided to just go home and go to bed. And I drove my car home, with Chris in the passenger seat (cool that I can drive, but still).
I woke up at 8:30am but forced myself to go back to sleep. I got up at 11:15 this morning.
I was just so mad. Because Angel, Laura's friend from forever ago, was there, and I really could've used a party to wind down and have fun. But NOOOOOO, my stomach had to freaking ruin it.

And I really want to clean the bathroom...

In other news, I'm buying a Macbook Pro. I'm sick of my laptop. So I'm switching over. We'll see how that goes.

So basically, it's cool that I can sortof walk with a limp, drive my manual car, go up stairs, etc. But my stomach can't handle it. I can, my knee can, but my STOMACH can't. *sigh* Surgery will be a damn interesting experience. We still don't know yet if Chris has to go to China or not; he needs to get a letter from my doctor saying that he has to stay here with me. Otherwise, I'll probably go to Laura's for a month (or try and get her and Mark to stay at my apartment). Because I want to make sure I have the same PT the whole time (I'm really worried about finding the right one).
But I'm worried that Laura won't put up with me, since I'll be bedridden for like 4 days. And I'll need someone to help me to the bathroom, to shower me, to get me food, everything. And then to drive me to the doctors, the PT, etc. I know Mark would, and Bryan would too probably. But Laura's Laura, and I just don't know. *sigh* That really makes me sad.

So I'm going to read and look at puppies and kittens on petfinder and craigslist. And eat.
Kbye.

happy freaking friday!

2008-06-13T09:56:00.002-04:00

Oh my goodness. This morning was wondrous. Well, in the leg-sense.
1) I stood up in the shower instead of sitting down.
2) I hobblestepped in the kitchen and CLEANED THE KITCHEN. Mmmm.
3) I made eggs.
4) I helped take out the trash.

And I'm going to vaccum when I'm done with my MRI, and maybe see The Hulk or Kung-Fu Panda (WHICH I was told is amazing with amazing music BY HANS ZIMMER, mmmmm). AND Laura's PJ party is tonight. Yes. I'm excited.

OH, and 5) I went up the stairs, without crutches, and I took one foot per stair.
Hell yeah.
Of course, all of this will disappear once surgery comes around and I'll have to start over. AND I can't bend my leg more than 90 degrees and it still hurts to fully extend it. So I really should just be working on those anyway lol... But whatever lol!
Happy freakin' Friday :)

stair-master

2008-06-12T21:25:00.003-04:00

I wanted to see if I could. And I can. It's part pain, part strength, but mostly all in the mind.

Lately, I've been putting more weight as I go up the stairs on the bad leg. And today, I was trying to pseudo-walk up the stairs like normal people (that sounds so bad lol), but still with crutches for support. WELL. After sushi tonight, I decided halfway up the stairs to the apartment that I would try. I took the crutches in my right hand, and took the railing in my left. And I took one stair at a time. Without crutches. Two really big milestones for me today. I mean, it was put the left foot on a stair, meet it with the right, put the bad foot on a stair, meet it with the good. But still. Unbelievable. I guess I'm just blown away by the fact that one day, I'll be able to truly use it again.

Lisa, the stair master.

research

2008-06-12T11:12:00.002-04:00

I was looking up about the doctor that I have, Dr. William Isbell with the Raleigh Orthopedic Clinic. Nerve wracking because it's hard to tell who's a good doctor and who is not. But eh, he seems good. He worked on Brind'amour in February, he's a Carolina Hurricane. And I was trying to look for Physical Therapy places. I've found a couple. Eeep!
Time for class.

tears of hard-earned joy

2008-06-12T08:41:00.003-04:00

It may not seem like much, but again... little victories. As I've been trying to up the ante with my leg and put more weight on it here and there, I decided to try something this morning. When I walk with crutches lately, my arms and hands hurt because of how much I'm using them to walk. So starting to use my bad leg (eventually I'll go back to left and right, but it just doesn't matter at the moment lol) for walking helps remove some pressure from my arms and hands. Well, this morning I tried something. I hobble-stepped from the bathroom to the bed and back to the bathroom. Without crutches.
I was waving my arms like an excited penguin and getting all excited with misty eyes of joy. I hobblestepped without crutches. Of course, my bad leg moves an bit and then my good leg comes up beside it. But hey, it's something! And then of course I do too much and when I step my foot twists a little and my knee twists and gives a little and my knee-insides hurt. But whatever, I hobblestepped.

Whenever I wake up though, and randomly throughout the day, my stomach just hurts and I feel like puking. I haven't yet, knock on wood, but ugh. Plus I had a horrible nosebleed this morning. UGH x 2.
And I just can't bring myself to do homework. It takes FAR too much effort. But I have been nonetheless. Onward.

new exercise :)

2008-06-11T19:11:00.003-04:00

Too many posts in one day.
So a good exercise that I found is to spell things in the air with your injured leg. Pick the word, then lift your leg and spell it out but keeping your leg straight. I did EEEEEE, DOG, and SHITHEAD (inside joke between Chris and I lol).

Also, I've been on Petfinder.com on and off all day. I'm starting to fall in love with a kitten named Cookie, and really want a puppy too. A companion full of unconditional love, trainability, and happiness. I've never had a dog and always wanted one :) I also was looking at AnimalBehaviorCollege.com. You can learn to be a dog trainer :) Awww.

stressed

2008-06-11T16:24:00.002-04:00

So apparently, I panic and get overly stressed and angry and lean towards crying when things get fucked up.
Like today.
We missed my appointment. It was at another office in Wake fucking Forest. And they didn't tell us that. So my MRI is Friday now. Don't ask me any questions, I don't want to freaking talk about it. Once again, MRI is Friday, and I won't post anything about it until Monday because I still won't know until then.

In other news, I move faster on crutches when I'm panicked and pissed.

comedy

2008-06-11T12:37:00.001-04:00

In class we're talking about comedy.
Keep laughing. Having good humor helps :)

One week anniversary

2008-06-11T09:21:00.002-04:00

You know, I've never been one for week or even month anniversaries in relationships. Hell, Chris and I didn't have a one year anniversary because we couldn't remember what day we got together lol (we ended up choosing May 14th, and we had our two year though). But with this, it's going so slow that I wanted to!
It feels like my leg has always been bad. I mean, not like I can't remember using it or something, but I've gotten used to it. Every now and then it gets frustrating that I have to hop around while I hold a cup of water in my mouth, my pills in my cleavage, and my laptop in my right hand. BUT, that's life.
Only my Mom has emailed me back, and I know that some family members are reading, but I don't know if anyone else has checked their email or what. So if you want, you can let me know you're reading it. Otherwise, you can spy on me in cyberspace and I'll never know.

It's not too bad. I mean, definitely not as bad as Wednesday night when it happened. That was special lol.... But it does hurt from time to time. I can get into the bathtub just fine though, so that's a relief. The hardest thing is getting on shorts/underwear, socks, and getting tired from hobbling around. OH, and going down stairs that have no rails. UGH. Well, and going down hills. And asking people to do things for you. Otherwise, it's not too bad. MRI is today at 4:10, so yay for that. We'll all find out Monday.
I really didn't feel like doing homework yesterday. I napped for two hours, and ordered pizza (Chris and Cedric and I all chipped in for it) so it'd be an easy dinner. Laura, Mark, John Stancil, Bryan, and Sebastian were all at our pool so we went to see them. And that got me awake and away enough to get stuff done. School is just annoying when your leg draws your attention.

I really need to work on my left leg more. I can't do it until I've eaten because too much movement unsettles my stomach (gotta love that gene pool lol, love you Mommy lol). But it's weird because when I'm standing and have my weight on my good leg and have my bad leg's foot planted, I feel like my weight is even. But it's obviously not. Thus my joy over the Wii Fit once therapy starts. So I really have to work on that. Working on pressure is the hardest because it's so scary. I can't do it without the brace. And then tightening the quads are hard too because it's hard to tell.

Eh, time for COM 240. Hate that class lol.

notes

2008-06-10T18:24:00.004-04:00

Don't fall asleep with your leg bent. It hurts a LOT when you wake up :)

Also, never psych yourself into thinking you can do a lot more than you can. It gets disheartening. Just because I can bend my leg and lift my leg, it is still unbelievably weak and needs to be exercised a LOT before I can successfully use it.

However, Papa Johns is on the way. So I'm cheery.

Little victories

2008-06-10T15:24:00.003-04:00

It's the little things that get me excited. Like being able to lift my leg so many times an a row. Or being able to put some weight on it, even though most is on my crutches or good leg.
I'm making a point to practice having weight on it and pseudo-walking with it (still with crutches obviously) during the day, like in the kitchen or in the school hallways. I need to try.
Ice doesn't help swelling. Neither does my medicine. But that's because there's so much fluid. It's like a softball. *sigh*
Tomorrow, MRI at 4:00. And then Monday, I'll know for sure.

And I have an ungodly amount of homework to do. Jeez I hate school.

thoughts on leg work

2008-06-10T08:35:00.005-04:00

Good morning :)
I forgot to say that yesterday at the Raleigh Orthopedic Clinic they gave me a new brace. It is specifically for knee stuff, and can lock on the sides to keep my knee from moving. It works realllly well. But it took a while to get used to. It's a lot heavier, which means more work (but that's great in the long run). And yesterday, while working at trying to bend and straight lift my leg, I felt like I was doing it safely.

There's only one thing that really gets to me right now. That even if I can eventually walk without my crutches this or next week, it won't matter--I'll have surgery and have to start over again. This stuff really tears you down and builds you up multiple times I'm finding. I had to cry again yesterday some because it was like taking a couple steps back in what little progress I had made. Although, I will say that it's good in the sense that I'm building up my left thigh. I'm favoring the right leg (duh) which is already bringing strength away from the left. And I need my left leg to be as STRONG as possible. And that means working with it even if that effort won't show later, you know? So right now, I'm sliding it closer and farther from me at NCSU, since I have over an hour to kill before class starts. And then I can lift it again.
People who might be going through this now or later (I hope not for anyone, but life does cheery things like this), push through the pain. Seriously. Be a beast and be stubborn. Let your body say when you've had enough, but push through. And be prepared to work on your people skills/being social in elevators and while waiting for the car to pull up. People look at me and look at my leg, and that spurs me into small talk. And no worries--it's not like you don't have a story to tell ;)
This torn ACL is going to work on a lot of things for me... confidence, strength, pride, social skills.. and of course, being able to move again!

Oh, and I'm excited about using the Wii Fit once I can stand because the balance games will help to show how badly I'm favoring the good leg. That'll be SO great during therapy. Yay :)
Onward! I hope everyone else is doing better than me lol.

moderate excitement

2008-06-09T21:13:00.002-04:00

On a random note, the doctor did say that in order to have surgery I need to be able to fully extend my leg and to bend it at 90 degrees (yeesh!). So hey, I have something to work on rather than have it be a dead leg :) They also want me to start putting weight on it slightly, although if I'm going to have surgery then there's no point. BUT I do need to get strength in my left thigh because my right thigh is getting to be beastly :)

So, while watching Zohan today, I was working on bending it. And right now, on the edge of my bed, it is bent some.. maybe 50 degrees? Yay :) AND I can lift it a little over a foot off the ground. But that scares me so it's harder lol.

Homework time!

The long and short of it

2008-06-09T16:56:00.001-04:00

Wednesday afternoon, Katrina and I went out to go horseback riding as usual. This time, I decided to ride Era so Katrina could work on getting Porsche to be less lazy like she always is with me. I've ridden Era before, so this was not a problem. But that day, she had a little more get-up-and-go than usual. She got away from me at one point, galloping through the woods and whatnot. But when she came to a tight and uphill path, I was able to stop her. Pissed off, tired, and branch-smacked, we rested a bit. On the way back, we decided to canter up the long road like we'd done twice before. Well.... that's when she really got away.
If there is anything faster than a gallop, and let's call it WARP or RIDICULOUS, that's what Era was doing. Up the road and across an actual road. Then BACK across an actual road and onward. She lurched over a ditch, and the whole time I'm yanking on one rein to get her to turn in a small circle to stop. She doesn't, and the one rein snaps... So I start yanking on the other one. All the while, I'm screaming at her to WOAH!!! STOP!!! WOAH!! WOAH!!! forever. Not listening--well actually, her ears were cocked back at me, so she was listening, just not doing. I'm starting to lose energy, it's been about a minute, but I can't fall off. I gather my strength while at ridiculous-warp-speed, but she lurches and I lose stirrup number one. Shit. While she's taking deathly tight turns, I have to tuck my foot under her to stay on. *eeep* She lurches again over a ditch AND a turn, and I lose stirrup number two about a minute and a half later. OH DEAR GOD. So up ahead is the creek, which they jump at a stand still, and she's still going ridiculous-warp-speed. The whole time, I am trying to find out where I could bail, where I should bail, if I can bail. But she was going so fast that there was no way it'd be safe.
So, trying with all my adrenaline and strength and stubborn pride, I'm staying on this crazy fast horse. But without either stirrup and one rein, and a creek ahead, my instincts kick in and say, "Self? You need to bail. Or you'll go over her head, get trampled, and die." And so, I said, "okay self!" and threw myself off her and I don't even know how I managed to do so. But I do remember being in the air and spinning in the air and somewhere in the back of my mind thinking, "oh. god. please." And then I landed. And I just screamed "OW!!" ..breath.. "OW!!!" ..breath.., over and over again for about a minute. It was excruitiating. All I could do was scream and grab at the ground hopelessly. And I had lost Katrina and Porsche WAAAAY back there lol. But then I thought, "Okay Lisa, you need to get up.. See if you can get up," so I try and get my legs under me, get ready to stand up, and then I kindof stand. And right when I finally am up... I piss myself. Unknown to me at this point, this is a common reaction to minor concussions which I probably just had at the moment. But, since I didn't think about that, it really just put the damn cherry on the damn top. It sucked. And then Katrina finally caught up to me, jumped off the heavily panting and limping Porsche (who put her heart and soul into chasing me), and ran and hugged me.
After trying to hobble, we realized I couldn't walk. So she put me up on Porsche who manned up and walked gently all the way back. Of course, once I got off the horse, my adrenaline fell and I started feeling sick (common for injuries) and dropped myself to the ground. Once back up to the house by Mary's husband on the golf cart (Mary is the owner of the barn and land), Mary handed me a Bud Lime (which actually is awesome, and I hate Bud stuff). And it was great. Then I was taken to the hospital.

So that's the long of it lol.
I split the little thing that connects my upper lip to my upper gums. It's split vertically (awkward lol), or it was--it's healed now, thank goodness, that I was annoying. My left knee has a fracture on the left of it, and they think that my ACL is torn and that probably my PCL is torn too. My MRI is Wednesday, and I won't find out until this coming Monday. Earliest that I can have surgery is next Thursday.
Guess who's not going to China... *sigh*

Well, things to do. But that's the long and short of it.
I'll keep you all updated. Straight from the knee. The left knee that is :)