an end

I just thought I'd close the blog--the plateau has passed a little, but really there isn't much else to update on as I slowly improve.
Thanks to everyone and anyone that helped me through :)

Yeah :)

friday, feels like monday

SO much to do. Homework and everything. I don't want to go anywhere or do anything ever. I'm just so tired.
Leg is doing well. I can't kneel for the resting pose in yoga :( Not there yet in my ROM. But oh well, getting there.
First day on the job wasn't bad. I didn't do much for most of the time again, save for call people to confirm appointments. But I will be on Wednesday--it'll just be me and someone named Hannah, and so I'll HAVE to step up and figure out the computers and whatnot. I'm nervous about that. But oh well. Gotta start sometime. I may call and ask if I can come in and a watch again for a little while. There's SO much to remember for the computers.
But what sucks is sitting on a stool for a 7 hour shift. Oh my goodness that hurts after a while. And I got super hungry--I'll have to bring some trail mix and whatnot with me. Ugh, I was starving! And then when I came home and had some eggs, I just felt worse because I ate too fast lol. Horrible. The shifts are kinda long, like next Saturday I have 8am -6 pm which sucks lol. I did that at Caribou a couple of times, but it doesn't go by fast at Banfield, and you're not moving around very much. Caribou, you're running all over the place.
9 bucks an hour isn't bad, and the 15% discount isn't bad, and getting a free wellness plan in 3 months isn't bad. But we'll have to see how this pans out. I have a small feeling that, unless things go really well next week, this might not be the job for me :(

School time!

oh!

But I will say, it still does smart a little to go downstairs. If you try to cycle normally and go quickly, the bad leg doesn't really do it right. And going upstairs, if there are too many, it hurts a little. And hyperextending it SUCKS to high heaven. And sometimes it's stiff in the morning. And other times it feels fine.

And it makes me afraid to do things. Like learn how to snowboard one day, or run, or jump, or spin around, or whatever.

Eep.

jumping on a trampoline

That could serve as a metaphor for the ups and downs of life. Or, it could be what I did in PT yesterday. Well, not a FULL trampoline, just a small square rebounder. And I bounced up and down on it. And I pushed myself off the Total Gym and landed on my left foot (you lay down on a sliding mat and it uses your own weight as workout). So yeah. Greg thinks maybe another 4 weeks and I might be done. We might try running next time :) :) I'm excited. But of course, it will still be not FULL running. Running speed, but I feel like I won't be landing right.

I haven't been writing here because nothing has been happening leg-related really. I mean... I could write about my life, but I'd get too caught up in it and I'd rather not. I did, however, receive The Complete Calvin and Hobbes from my parents for my 21st birthday (Oct. 5th). And I LOVE IT! I'm so excited about reading them, once I get some free time away from school reading lol. They're so pretty and BIG and they have ALLLLL the C+H comics. All of them. Yum.
Still haven't finished reading the Watchmen, which Chris borrowed in the middle of my reading it, and it's somewhere in his laptop back. Realllly good graphic novel, a collection of the 12 comics that were put out a while ago. Supposedly the greatest graphic novel of all time. Eh.


School time.

Stuff

Leg stuff going well. Exercising going well. I still can't squat or kneel. The pressure on my knee feels bad, and then squatting, I just can't bend that far and have that much weight on my leg. I did LARP yesterday though (live action role playing). I didn't go as crazy as I wanted to and as I used to because of the leg. I only was in 2 little battles, and I wasn't running. I can jog though :)

SO, the big news is that I GOT A JOB!!!! I'm going to be a "Client Service Coordinator", aka front-desk-person lol, at the Banfield Pet Hospital inside the Cary Petsmart. It's 6 miles from where I live, so not far. $9/hr to start off, and 15% discount on Petsmart stuff!! AND after 3 months of P/T work, I can put Rikku on their Wellness Plan (preventative healthcare, covers exams and office visits and vaccines etc) for FREEEEEE. I'm excited. And they can cross-train, so if I wanted to learn how to help out the nurses and stuff, I could :) I'm nervous about it though because you know, new job new rules new things to learn. I observe tomorrow from 4-8 I think. Yay :)

That's the big news. Nothing else really. School is eating up my life! I ALWAYS have reading and homework and studying--2 exams this week and a quiz and a paper. Blech.
Onward, to do those things.

the paces are changing

Leg stuff is slowing down, school stuff is speeding up.

I haven't been posting as frequently, and that will continue to be the norm. Things are improving bit by bit, or mostly staying the same. I feel that this blog will get to a point where the posts are few and far between and then it just ends. But I guess that's how recovery is. I wasn't expecting to get so far so fast and then plateau for so long. Eh.

School is getting more intensive. LOTS of reading for history--we don't have tests, just papers. And oh my gosh. And then Arabic is one unit at a time, but that's like 4 new letters per unit. Eep. Audio Production is also a lot of reading, but not nearly as much as history. Media Relations is now going to be a TON of research. And Media History, that's namely discussion and reading one article per class period :)

So. Things are going fairly well as we head into mid-September. I am still without a job, so we'll see how that goes. I hope everyone else is doing well!

ugh

Sick as a dog.
My nose, my eyes, my throat, my head. UGH.

Other than that, Greg is putting me down to seeing him once a week instead of twice, he says I'm doing great. There's room for improvement (always), he'd give me a B on quad strength. But I'm doing well. Basically, before we move on to skipping or jumping or shock absorbing things with my left leg, I need to just work on continually strengthening the leg :)

I missed my doctor's appointment yesterday. I stayed in bed and felt sickly :( But so it goes. I also missed my first class, but bit the bullet and went to my Arabic class and my history discussion. This cold came out of NOWHERE. Ugh.
Anyway. Today was chicken noodle soup and tomato soup with grilled cheese, lunch and dinner respectively. As well as a whole lotta nothin'.
I did get the laundry done though. And I vacuumed before I got sick, so that's done.
But I need to study tomorrow and get homework done. SIGH. Oh the things to do.

Hmph.

Well I'll be seeing Greg only once a week starting next week. He says I'm doing really well, and that I can do most everything on my own, so I'll be good.
He also did know that I went horseback riding, I told him, and he said that I would be fine but there's always the risk of that happening again (duh, same with getting in a car). Yes, I realize it was foolish, but it isn't an intensive sport. You sit on the horse. It walks. And when you're around 5 other horses on a trail ride (aka walking, some trotting), nothing fucked up is gonna happen. But yes, it was dumb.

I got my haircut today--it's adorable! I have bangs across the front, it's a chin-length bob that frames my face, and goes up a little in the back. Adorable. I'll have to take a picture :) It was 30 bucks (shampoo, cut and style), but that's everywhere lol.

I revised my exercise schedule. And I'm going to try and do it when I get back on T/H after class, and then in the afternoon M/W/F.
I have an interview with Liberty Mutual tomorrow afternoon at 4pm. Most likely, they want me to do calls for them and make money on commission. In which case, I'm not driving 20 minutes there and back to work there. But an interview can't hurt.

Onward to doing my Arabic homework.

on the horse again

Sorry I haven't posted in a while. Nothing really exciting has been happening. But I did get back on a horse on Saturday. For Katrina's birthday, we went out to the barn she works at and did a 2 hour trail ride. We only cantered once, and trotted maybe 3 times, sadly. I was initially nervous, but then was fine and realized how much I missed it and really enjoy being in the saddle. I really enjoyed leasing out Porsche, even if it was really far away and even if she was really stubborn... it was really nice. I loved it.
But hey, I can still ride lol! Cedric said I was very brave to get back up. I think it was part brave, part stupid... but oh well. I'm not going to be afraid of horses and never get back up on one just because something bad happened. Although, if something bad happened again I'm sure my parents would kill me or I'd have to take out a loan lol.

Leg is doing all right. I need to do my exercises better. I don't know why, I just can't focus :/
I also need to go to the grocery store, do Unit 3 of Arabic, study for a map quiz, print out discussion questions, and clean the shower/bath.
I'm reading Watchmen right now, supposedly the greatest graphic novel of all time. I'm really really enjoying it. Hopefully I won't get started and addicted to comics or graphic novels, but I love the concepts of the frames and how it's written--we learned a little about that in the media writing class over the summer.
By the way, it's hard to type with a band-aid on. It's weird.
Okay, things to do!

walking all over

...is what I do on campus lol. M/W/F I walk pretty far throughout the day. It's good exercise! Yay! What I should do is go to the gym as well, but I have to get home to the puppy and 9-3 is a long time to be at school. I'd do the gym T/H but I have PT then. Tomorrow it's 1:30, so maybe I'll get my haircut tomorrow.
Didn't get around to the chores. *sigh* I'll do those this week or this weekend. Chris and I just didn't feel like it. We saw Death Race last night with friends. I was expecting it to be horrible, but it wasn't bad. Although lately, I'm finding myself paying attention to more than the movie. Like the sound quality, different sound effects, camera angles, dialogue sequences, writing, lighting, storyline, etc. Like a MEDIA person. Teehee :)

It still doesn't work for me to go downhill. I have a limp. And I still have a fairly noticeable and sometimes audible limp regularly. Aah well. These things do take time, it'll be a month since surgery on Sunday! And then my 2 month anniversary on Thursday (anniversary of the accident that is lol). Yay.
All right. Tea time, exercises, homework, etc.
And tonight, I'm gonna try to cook hibachi :) Woo!
And damn do I love Arabic. Truly. I love the language, the script, the class, the professor. And I SOOOO wanna go to Cairo. But, an internship would be more... beneficial :)

Cheers!

sundays are nice

Breakfast in bed! Well, I made it, but still lol. And watching Robin Williams HBO and then icing my leg. AND putting away laundry and the dishes in the dish washer. Blam. But I have yet to do homework, vacuuming, bathroom, or dusting. Sigh. And taking out the trash. ANNND getting a lamp cord, a calligraphy pen (for arabic) and an alarm clock :)

My leg is all right. I can go down stairs normally now, so long as I don't go too fast. My hamstring was stiff this morning, but oh well. I'm doing my exercises, but I can't seem to focus when I do them. Around the PT place, I just do it and BLAM an hour of exercises. But at home? No more than like 10 minutes if that lol... I can't focus. But I do what I'm supposed to, just not as much as I should. UGH. I need to do better. But I DO periodically do quad sets and bend my leg around. And while I'm cooking or waiting for water to boil or brushing my teeth or putting away clothes, I do hamstring curls and lunges and calf raises. So I'm trying.

That's really the hardest part. Just doing the exercises. UGH!
Okay, things to do.

Cheers all!

ahlan wa sahlan

I love Arabic.
Seriously.

And Fridays. And baths. And tea time :)
Yay.

school starts, leg continues

Not bad.
My leg is doing all right. Extension is a real problem. I can extend it to being straight, but--here, try this. Get down on the floor, or on the bed, wherever it's flat and your legs are out in front of you. Now tighten up your quad. See how your lower leg and foot raise up? Put your hand under your knee. Tighten up your quad, and see how it pushes down on the hand? Well, when I tighten the quad, there's no pushing, no raising. It's just tightening. Now, I still have swelling, so that could be it. After the accident, it took a while. But eh.

Walking around campus wasn't too bad. I got a blister on my right foot though lol, so I was walking really weird by the end of the day. Going downhill, even slightly, I still have to lead with my toe and not straighten. But that was the same with after the accident too.

I'm exercising. But not as much as I should :/ I do all of them, but just not as many I guess. We'll see what Greg says, I see him tomorrow at 11am. I think my flexion has improved. But I'm really worried about my extension.
I'm icing, but DEFINITELY not much. Maybe twice a day. Once usually. I need to work on that too. I'm just so bad and keeping up with things. But I've got a schedule set down. Once I get back from school, I have two hours to play with the dog and do exercises and have tea time (at 4pm, yes, awesome, I know). Then 5-7 is homework, icing, Arabic review. 7-9 is dinner, more homework, more exercises. 9-10 is relaxation before bed--be that meditating, doing nothing, blogging, taking a bath. So HOPEFULLY I'll keep to it. I also can exercise a little in the morning while in the shower and doing my hair.

UGH.
Okay. Oh, and I'm STOKED about Arabic. Seriously. It'll be hard, really hard, but I'm so excited. And realllly excited about my Digital Audio Production course. Yes!
Cheers!

leg junk

Nothing really going on. PT went well on Thursday. Past two days have been spent at Laura's watching the dogs and the Olympics, as well as messing around on TWW (brentroad.com, lots of NCSU people).

It's still very hard and painful to bend backwards while standing up. I can lift the thigh and bend, but if I keep my thighs parallel, and try to lift my calf up, ouch. Those hamstring tendons OMFG. It's the ones--look at the hamstrings, and then see that at the knee, they've got 2 tendons on the outside, and on on the inside. THOSE KILL.

So yeah. Going down stairs has gotten easier. I can almost pretty much alternate now. Which is nice because one step at a time is so damn slow. It still hurts to extend my leg all the way, and it's really hard. I've GOT to work on it.
I'm gonna need some help to push me to exercise. I only did a little yesterday :(

And TODAY! I will go to Food Lion. Dangit!

chugging right along

That's what the days are doing. It's already Wednesday, and school starts a week from today. I'll have class in 10 minutes if it was already next week. Ugh lol. Excited and NOT excited.

PT went well. 106 degrees of flexion, but I REALLLLY need to work on my extension. It hurts so bad. Grah.
Anyway. Taking the car in to get fixed and have new tires. Well, not fixed, but checked up. And then taking care of Laura/Mark dogs for 3 days. Woo. Nothing much is happening. Recovery is going exceptionally well. I mean, I walk with a limp DUH, and going down stairs is still one stair at a time, unless I do a hop thing. But otherwise, I'm pretty good.

v-dub in the house

Yeah, so I can drive :) Heh, I bet I could've driven a few days ago too. So that's what, 1.5 weeks after surgery and I can drive a manual. Badass.

Also, the new brace is cool and makes me look less bionic. BUT it sucks to take off and put on, and it gets sweaty :(

Okay, PT time.

off comes the band-aids

And the tape pieces from surgery. Jeremy said I could've taken them off earlier. Isbell uses dissolvable sutures, so I didn't have any stitches to protect. But it was for the best to keep them protected so they could heal. All the incisions are fine, there's one on the inside of the knee (like the right side, not INSIDE of it lol) that isn't healed all the way, and that bottom one has a bruise around it but otherwise it's all good.

I still have to ice it a couple times a day (like 4 times), and I still need to wear a brace. But I got my new one today! It's like one of those black braces with the donut hole in the knee spot, but it has a velcro section on the thigh, and another section on the calf. However, those straps are all on top of a black foamy material. That foamy material covers my leg save for the hole in the knee on the top and the back. It goes down like halfway on the calf and comes up a hand-span on the thigh. And then it has that brace support on the sides, but it's not lockable. So yay. I can walk around and start bending more than 105 degrees and do whatever. I mean, not running and skiing and basketball lol, but I can start really getting into therapy. I go tomorrow to see Greg at 10:15am--yay! I miss the Garner office :)

So it's nice having a new brace that's easier to deal with, don't have to do the locking stuff and it slips on and off. It's tight still (swelling) and sucks to pull on over the bottom incision/bruise area, but it's MUCH nicer. So all's well!

Right now, we're going to go help Ben get stuff out of his car and into his new house. I'll probably just carry clothes and whatnot, but I was carrying a 20 pound puppy here and there, so we'll see. And then the rest of the week is just exercises and relaxing before school. Eep..

thoughts and the leg at the beach

Well, I'm not on the beach, but I'm a couple blocks away. Down in Wilmington with Laura, Mark and Chris. And all the dogs.

I've been doing my exercises... I need to go get that sheet that Micah wrote (he was the guy in Charlotte) because I feel like there are more that I need to do. I do the raises, I try walking, I shift my weight, I do calf raises... but I feel like there's more.. And I don't need to work on my flexion anymore at the moment--I have to wait for tomorrow's appointment with Jeremy. He's going to give us the scoop about what comes next, and then I see Greg again the next day.

Basically, things are going fairly well. I really don't have much pain unless my leg is bent for too long and then it's hard to get up and start walking around. I don't use my crutches at all, and I stopped using them on like... Sunday? Saturday too, like 4 days after my surgery (but that's probably because of PT beforehand too). Guys, seriously, work on the PT before surgery, and if your doctors DON'T prescribe it for you, ask and get it. That and having to deal with the helplessness the first time, I really learned how to do everything and push through the points where it feels like I need help. Like... sometimes it's hard to get out of the car or the bath tub. But it's not hard. And it's not painful. Really, the worst was the bone pain when I woke up, and then the fact that I got sick from too many meds and from having that horrrrrrrrible head cold.

Family and friends have been sending lots of good positive energy. And it helps to have people around that support you, help you out, and that push you to do exercises and do what you're supposed to. And it also helps to have people that are sarcastic, don't help you out or get things for you, and force you/push you to do things on your own. It's great. Thanks to everyone!
And those of you with ACL tears, in my experience the worst is: surgery (waking up, and getting the shots), the accident (the impact and pain, the immobility, the losing adrenaline and almost going into shock), and the helplessness (not being able to do almost anything and feeling like you'll never do anything again). But after this... dear GOD I've gained so much confidence in myself and strength inside. It makes me feel like "well I got through this, so whatever else comes I'll be a little better off."

Alright. We're gonna watch Phelps (we've been playing games and watching the Olympics all weekend--love it) and then take the dogs on the beach. Oh, and Shawn from the American gymnastics team? Amazing. Her and Nastia both... damn.

Cheers!

busy busy

Past few days have included going back to Raleigh, unpacking everything, going to Olive Garden, my grandparents taking crazy good care of me and helping me move and getting me things, my Mom being worried and very caring, my sister and her friends being over, my puppy going nuts, Katrina and the cat Pear (Rikku and Pear aren't getting along yet---Pear hisses a lot lol) coming back, and other things. And today, Mark and Laura and Chris and all the dogs and I are going to the beach for the last summer outing.

And thank you Mrs. Maria for the email :)
And thank you again to my grandparents for EVERYTHING! Literally lol.
And thank you again to my uncle for calling about me so dang much.

My leg is doing just fine. I'm on it A LOT, I ice it here and there, and I did my exercises *sigh* only once yesterday. But the past two days were just too busy with moving. I'll be better. It's hard sleeping with the brace on because I wake up a lot, but it's not too bad.
Right now, my main problem is money. Those green bills and numbers in my account... not having a job has really taken its toll. I need to get one this Fall as soon as my leg can handle it. I've got enough in my account to buffer and sail me through a few months. But it's just getting low. The puppy has cost me a lot, that's for sure, and so have a few failed attempts to make money online *sigh*

Well. Shower time and packing time, I'll try and keep updating. So far so good. That bottom incision can kiss my ass, I'm sick of it hurting. And I'm sick of mucus and coughing, but that's life right? Everything all at once.

Cheers.

sigh

And I love that everyone in Raleigh is drinking wine and watching movies.

*sigh*
Jealousy, boredom, and a continuous dull ache ensues.